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NAIJA SKITS:
Coronavirus update: 167,467 confirmed cases, 2119 deaths and 163,949 discharged persons (God is our divine vaccine)
Nigeria is preparing for 3rd wave of COVID-19, says FG (Naija frustrate 1st class, 2nd class, na 3rd class go survive?)
FG extends NIN-SIM verification deadline (The deadline is even dead…dem don tire)
There will be bomb explosion in Abuja, says Primate Ayodele (Oga, true, we don tire of these talks…)
MURIC condemns attack on Muslims by Egungun masquerade in Oshogbo, Osun (Since the gods started drinking Hennessey instead of Schnapps dem dey misbehave badly, lol)
Nobody can stop us from holding Yoruba Nation rally in Lagos, Sunday Igbogho spits (Hmm na over confidence make February no complete o)
Agitators for Nigeria’s breakup are useless youths, says Sheik Gumi (I just laugh in Arabic)
Boko Haram, ISWAP, other terrorist groups compete to recruit bandits (One day una go see newspaper vacancy from Boko, lol)
One student shot dead, several injured during protest against fees hike in Kaduna (Kaduna College of Education)
Pandemonium in Abeokuta as secondary school students shoot guns during clash (Clash between Baptist Boys High School & Ilugun High School)
Fulani herdsmen invaded our farmlands with AK-47, threatened mayhem, members of Ogoni community lament (Chaiii, Sarowiwa will be turning in his grave…Ogoni dey fall hand)
Redeemed pastor questions T.B Joshua’s source of power (Why una no question when him dey alive? Allow him to rest in peace)
Panic in Ogwashi Uku as irate youths strip, rape chief’s wife (Over chieftaincy tussle)
Andy Uba emerges APC candidate for Anambra, Ngige kicks against victory (Him say na total fabrication)
APC is a highly unprincipled party, says Prof Itse Sagay (Prof na at old age you realised, you are a slow learner)
I will do everything in my power to support Tinubu’s presidential ambition (Person wey use cassava leaves sew clothe no dey get goat as friend…. Selah)
Man beaten mercilessly for allegedly stealing car battery in PH (And they battered your life)
Drama as Ebonyi communities banish wizards over diabolical practices (I just sidon dey look Ebonyi dem)
Akwa Ibom Police Command quizzes Constable over extortion, demand for sex (Na demand for sex the guy dey guilty….extortion na normal level nah)
With plastic suggery, drugs, the world will become Sodom & Gomorrah in 5 years, Pastor Giwa laments (Rat wey die on top bag of rice na overfeeding kill am, lol)
28-year old man, Pious Amos, arraigned in Abuja for buying N300 suya with fake N1000 note (You are not pious at all…you chop N300 suya then collect real N700 change, haba)
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