By Dada Ahmed.
(C) The Cable.
Communication has long been recognized as one of the cornerstones of human interaction. Within the family, its role goes beyond the mere exchange of words; it is the glue that binds individuals together, helping them navigate the complexities of life in unity. Where effective communication thrives, families blossom; where it falters, misunderstandings, silence, and eventual disintegration creep in. To understand this dynamic, one must look closely at how communication,or the lack of it,shapes family development.
In every society, the family unit is regarded as the primary school of life. It is where values, morals, and character are first cultivated. Yet, this process depends largely on how well parents, children, and siblings can articulate their feelings, expectations, and concerns to one another. Effective communication not only prevents conflicts but also nurtures mutual respect, trust, and cooperation within the home. Without it, even the most loving family bonds can gradually erode.
Consider the story of the Adeyemis, a middle-class family in a Nigerian suburb. Mr. Adeyemi, a civil servant, and his wife, a small business owner, lived with their three children. At first glance, they appeared like any typical family. However, beneath the surface, communication had broken down. Mr. Adeyemi, always preoccupied with work pressures, rarely engaged his wife in meaningful conversations. Mrs. Adeyemi, equally exhausted from managing her shop and household chores, often bottled up her frustrations rather than sharing them with her husband.
The children, sensing the growing emotional gap between their parents, slowly drifted into their own world. The eldest son began spending more time with friends outside, while the younger ones turned to television and mobile devices as substitutes for parental attention. Whenever issues arose,be it poor academic performance, financial stress, or domestic responsibilities,the family responded with silence, accusations, or half-hearted discussions. Over time, resentment set in.
Inevitably, the cracks widened. Quarrels became frequent, with accusations replacing affection. The parents began to see each other more as adversaries than partners, while the children internalized the conflicts, leading to behavioral problems in school and social withdrawal at home. What had started as a simple failure to talk openly and listen attentively snowballed into disintegration. The Adeyemis’ story mirrors that of many family where poor communication undermines unity, peace, and growth.
This scenario highlights a truth: family development cannot thrive in the absence of honest dialogue and effective listening. Communication is not only about speaking; it is also about understanding, empathy, and respect for different perspectives. In homes where family members actively listen to one another, conflicts are quickly resolved, and trust becomes the natural foundation upon which relationships are built.
Effective communication creates a sense of belonging. When children know their opinions matter, they feel valued, and when spouses share their thoughts freely, they feel supported. Such an environment encourages transparency, reduces suspicion, and strengthens emotional security. Families that communicate effectively are better equipped to face external challenges, whether economic, social, or emotional, because they operate as a united team.
Moreover, communication teaches problem-solving. Families often encounter disagreements over finances, discipline, or priorities. However, if the individuals involved can talk through their differences respectfully, the family emerges stronger. Disputes become opportunities to learn tolerance and patience. This kind of problem-solving culture is what turns ordinary families into resilient ones that can weather storms without falling apart.
The benefits extend to children’s development as well. Research has consistently shown that children from homes with open communication grow into more confident and emotionally stable adults. They develop stronger interpersonal skills and find it easier to build healthy relationships outside the family. Conversely, children raised in an environment of silence or constant conflict often struggle with insecurity, mistrust, and social difficulties.
Spousal communication is particularly critical. A husband and wife who communicate openly set the tone for the entire household. Their children learn by watching them resolve issues peacefully, exchange ideas respectfully, and support each other emotionally. A marriage where partners constantly dialogue becomes not just a partnership but a training ground for the next generation of communicators.
Importantly, effective communication fosters peace. Peace in the home is not merely the absence of quarrels but the presence of understanding. A family where members listen without judgment, empathize with one another, and express themselves constructively creates a calm environment. This peace spills into society because stable families are the bedrock of a stable community.
It is also worth noting that communication evolves with time. The way parents communicate with toddlers will differ from how they engage with teenagers or adult children. Families must adapt their communication style to match the growth stages of their members. Flexibility in approach ensures that no one feels alienated, and everyone remains connected.
In today’s fast-paced world, where technology often distracts more than it connects, families must make deliberate efforts to communicate face-to-face. Setting aside time for conversations at dinner, during family meetings, or before bedtime can make all the difference. It is not about the length of the talk but the sincerity and consistency of it.
Ultimately, communication is the lifeblood of family development. It nurtures trust, strengthens unity, promotes peace, and secures the future of the family. The Adeyemis’ story serves as a cautionary tale, reminding us that silence and neglect are as destructive as open conflict. By choosing dialogue over silence and understanding over suspicion, families can transform themselves into havens of love, growth, and stability.
Therefore,the strength of any family lies not in wealth or status but in its ability to communicate effectively. Families that talk together, listen together, and resolve issues together, grow together. Communication is not just a tool; it is the bedrock upon which the foundation of family development rests.
Ahmed is a retired Assistant Editor-In-Chief in NAN and publishes The Reporters.
