By Dada Ahmed.
There are many opinions and comments on adolescent child but Oxford dictionary simply defines it as a young person in the process of developing from a child into an adult.
In the same vein but more elaborate, experts describe adolescence as the period of transition between childhood and adulthood which starts at puberty during which a child entering adolescence goes through various changes and challenges such as physical, intellectual, personality and social and developmental processes.
Simple as the concept of child adolescence may look, experts in child psychology, however, remind parents, guardians and other stakeholders in child upbringing of the fact that, the practicality of adolescence poses challenges, not to the children but also the parents.
They believe that many of the stakeholders making impact in the process of nurturing children from adolescent to adult find it hard to understand their adolescent children behaviour due to social, psychological and economic factors.
Collaborating the assertion,Ms. Shefaly Yogendra, a Doctoral Scholar,University of Cambridge, UK asserts that the child and teenager of today undoubtedly faces much more complex
set of external factors shaping their expectations of their own body image as well as behaviours, than any previous generation did.
Citing the example of obesity, she further argues that in children and teens, the incidence is complicated by the
additional complexities of metabolism of growth with the attendant confusion such period poses to the child.
She also indentifies psychological and somatic factors, a cocktail of
environmental factors, such as lack of creative physical activities, and the recipe for overweight as some other factors militating against the ability of a growing child, going through adolescence to attain the desired results in adulthood.
The expert, however,reminds stakeholders in child upbringing that they need to tight belt and redouble efforts to accomplish the task, stressing that “it is not as simple as linking icecream to school results,as it requires more commitment from all involved in shaping these young people.
Mrs Angela Ojgujo, a child psychologist and a primary school teacher,who focuses attention on parents, teachers, primary health care workers, expresses the view that the saving adolescent child from falling into the abyss of adolescent complexity is not a tea party affair but a task that must be done conscienciously to achieve the desired success.
A Child Clinical Psychologist, Dr Anna Cohen is also not unaware of the challenges confronting a child adolescent but says she has what it takes for parents to make such child pass through adolescence seamlessly.
She calls on parents to develop the culture of staying engaged with the adolescent child in a loving, authoritative, open, warm and communicative manner that will bring more relaxation and joy to their lives and those of the children.
The expert,who expresses confidence in the ability of parents and guardians to remember their adolescent’s essential goodness, further counsels them to foster positive outlook towards them and their developmental changes.
“Put on your rose-tinted parenting glasses and view your teen’s adolescence as a positive, exciting time, rather than a problematic time. “Remember that your child’s difficult behaviour represents their developing assertiveness, and feel proud of them for their growing sense of personal identity.”
She adds:”Your teen’s developing independence represents an opportunity to carve out a new relationship with them; it doesn’t spell the end of your loving connection. Your adolescent child’s new-found independence is in fact desirable and necessary – we don’t need to fear it. Striving for autonomy at this time is healthy and is best achieved in the context of a close, loving relationship with you.
“Don’t take it personally. It’s normal for young people to crave independence, seek privacy, question authority, expose the hypocrisy of adults and explore values that are different to yours. ”
“When your teen seems horrified to be seen in public with you or when they roll their eyes in response to something you say, this is not really about you. You are simply a living, walking reminder that they were once a baby and that they were once completely dependent upon you to serve their every need.
“At a time when they’re trying to feel independent, this reminder can make them deeply uncomfortable – let them squirm, and don’t take any of their discomfort on board. You’re fine just the way you are and no matter what you say or do, they will find something about you to roll their eyes at.
“Seek support from your friends, your spouse or a specialist psychologist, if you are feeling ambivalent, resentful, jealous or angry with your young person, or if you are feeling that you’re lacking the skills to be the sort of parent that you want to be”she advises.
Other stakeholders in this crucial assignment,such as Sani Mohammed, a father of five, Mr Andrew Adamu, a parent and retired public servant and Hajia Amina Mohammed, stress the need for parents to watch the company of friends their child adolescent keeps.
“Show me your friend and I will tell you the kind of person you are.
“Truly, the nature of friends our children keep has a reflection on their behaviour because they are prone to the influence of peer group. It beholds on us as parents, therefore, to ensure that they don’t keep friends of questionable character as friends, especially in the school where they interact with all manner of friends.
“We should also ensure that our children get closer to God by making constant prayer and walking in the way of God their cherished culture in life.
“A family that makes closeness to God in prayer their watch word and do this with consistently and honestly, is 90 per cent sure of producing a God-fearing adolescent child that will be the pride of such family and the country at large,”Hajia Mohammed said.
As for Mr Adamu, parents should distant their child adolescent from the lure of politicians who may want to use them as agents to achieve their selfish political ends.
Adolescent children,by their nature, coupled with the challenge of transition from adolescence adulthood, are prone to political manipulation and many politicians are noted for cashing on that to recruit them as thugs for their ungodly acts.
” We as parents must guard and guide our adolescent children very well by discouraging them from attending political party campaigns and rallies, where they will be lured to indulge in political violence and make their vision of adolescence more complicated,” he urges.
It is instructive to note that transition from adolescence to adulthood is a must process for every child to pass through and that the process entails series of challenges but the challenges are not beyond the capacity of parents and other stakeholders in growth and development to handle.
Therefore, parents and other members of the society, keen in seeing children going through this critical metabolical process seamlessly, must help these class of children to achieve their goal with absolute ease.
When this is done, the child adolescent concerned, the family as a unit of the society and the will be the best recepients of such noble action, because it will go along in stemming youth restfulness to a greater degree and Nigeria will be seen to breath air of peace in an atmosphere of tranquility that will bring the much desired development.
Dada Ahmed is a blogger,a Journalist and media consultant.
